“Apeirophobia” Parts 1 and 2 are the only songs on the album that are more symbolic than literal. This was the first song I wrote for this album, and at the time I was reading the short stories of H.P. Lovecraft. Lovecraft’s skill was in creating atmosphere, explicitly saying very little but building a world with small hints and vague whispers, leaving your mind to fill in the gaps. He also speaks of antiquity, the impossible age of the universe, and our inability to comprehend it. That’s where the title comes from. If you haven’t ever read any Lovecraft, I highly recommend At the Mountains of Madness, or for a shorter read, Haunter of the Dark or Dreams in the Witch-House.

“Apeirophobia” is about how people fear the unknown, whether it’s the far away and ancient or simply not knowing what a person really thinks of you. The unknown is a realm of the imagination, and the imagination can be beautiful and awe-inspiring and happy. But the imagination also has dark corners, where terrible things lurk. I have a vivid imagination.

This song is about the big kinds of fear that live in those dark corners. Lovecraft is perhaps best known for Cthulhu and other giant squid-like monsters from outer space. Frightening, yes, but for me, giant, tentacled leviathans are symbolic, really, of things that are truly terrifying. Colossal squid monsters from outer space are not remotely as scary as the idea of hurting people you love, or failing at what you’re supposed to do best, or global warming, or the gradual poisoning of the world’s water supply, or being a cog in political and corporate machinations that you can’t easily pull yourself out of, or living forever, or mental illness, or passing on your fears and anxieties to your unborn child. Those are big kinds of fear.

Giant monsters are easy to understand, but most of these these other fears are not. Maybe that’s the appeal, because it makes fear more concrete, something tangible that you can do something about. Perhaps it’s also helpful to imagine something that seems scarier than what scares you. Perhaps it turns fear into something fun, something to fuel the imagination in positive and entertaining ways. I hope when you close your eyes and listen you will imagine impossibly ancient places, worlds beyond the scope of our comprehension. I hope you find this song and it’s second part to be chilling, but also inspire curiosity, while some sections will be more epic, and still others will take you on adventurous twists and turns that take you far away only to bring you back a little different than before. Hopefully that leaves you feeling more emboldened than afraid-that’s how it leaves me, at least.

I think I succeeded in creating a pretty eerie atmosphere here in Part 1, thanks to the chord progression of Bm-Ebm-Gm. For jazz people, this progression is of course John Coltrane’s “Giant Steps”, turned minor and with the V chords removed to create a darker sound. It also made surprisingly smooth voice leading. The entire song, and it’s part 2, follow these key centers, starting small and then gradually expanding out to larger sections.